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Intro from Brad:
And now the grand old opera theater proudly presents
a special holiday edition of the Adventures of the Kung Pao Buckaroos
Well its a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
Whatever you do watch what you say
If youre easily offended well thats okay
Its a completely non-offensive and
politically correct holiday
We catch up with our three cowboys one cold
December night huddled around the camp fire.
How bout we sing some holiday songs?
Yeah hey George you wanna lead us off?
Yeah I got one.
Oh -------- tree oh -------- tree
how lovely are thou branches
Why am I getting bleeped again?
Havent you heard guys? You cant say --------
you gotta say Holiday
I cant say --------?
No you might offend somebody.
Who is offended by --------?
You know you might offend the ----- and the -----
and the atheists.
What?
Time to politically correct.
Ill lead this off.
On the first day of -------- my true love gave to me
Jimmy are you listening?
What?
You cant say --------.
Why not?
If you can say ---- on the last record.
Why cant I say --------?
I didnt make the rules.
Hey listen guys its not that difficult
all you gotta do is change -------- to Holiday.
You know instead of saying white -------- you say
Im dreaming of a whi---- Holiday.
Why did I get bleeped?
Youve got to say Caucasian.
So I have to sing Im dreaming of a Caucasian holiday?
Sure that wont offend anybody.
Well its a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
Whatever you do watch what you say
If youre easily offended well thats okay
Why do these people have to feel that way?
How come they get offended so easily?
Its a completely non-offensive and
politically correct holiday
Im just trying to come up with a song here.
Lets sing one together everybody ready? George?
Ready.
Bill your ready?
Im ready.
Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy?
Okay!
We three kings of -------- are
bearing gifts weve traveled real far.
Sorry boys you have to say Asia now.
What?
Oh come on just try.
Ive got to get hyped up for this.
We three kings of Asia are.
That sounds like horse----
Oh lord okay. How bout Little Drummer boy?
Nope that offends short people.
And you cant say drummer cause
that will offend real musicians.
How bout little hahaha- town of Bethlehem.
Whats this with all the short jokes?
Hey how bout we do Silent Night?
No itll offend people whos hard to hear
and afraid of the dark.
What did he say about a shark?
SHARK?!!
This happens every year.
Well its a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
Whatever you do watch what you say
If youre easily offended well thats okay
Its a completely non-offensive and
politically correct holiday
Hohoho!
No.
I cant say ho?
No you might offend some women.
So basically we cant sing anything?
I think that a bunch of bull----.
Softer George its more effective.
I think that a bunch of bull----.
Wait just a dang minute
Ive ------- never been so ------- mad in 85 years.
You now what? I dont care who we offend
Im gonna sing -------- carols
if I wanna sing -------- carols.
Louder Bill its more effective.
I dont care who we offend
Im gonna sing -------- carols
if I wanna sing -------- carols.
Me too.
We wish you a merry --------
we wish you a merry --------
we wish you a merry --------
and a happy ne--- year.
We cant say new; itll offend the old folks.
And you better not offend themus!
Yah!!
have a merry Christmas!
(moins de barrés)